How to recognize a manipulative person
Understanding what a manipulator does, who they target, and why they do it makes it easier to recognize a manipulative person. Get these insights now so you don’t fall victim to manipulation.
Individuals in partnerships are certain to encounter issues as the relationship matures and changes. Emotions or greed may also play a role in the formation of these issues. Manipulation is a sort of problem that may arise in any relationship at any time.
Some relationships in life are simply difficult to navigate. Being in the same room with someone feels difficult, and just being in the same room with someone feels challenging. A manipulative person will recognize the need to sway personal opinions, always see things from their point of view, and may never allow you to express your point of view because they are constantly pushing theirs.
They tend to play the victim, never taking responsibility for their actions, or even for their inactions, in the first place. Do you have the sensation of being a puppet on a string? This is a problem that has the potential to lead to others down the road.
So, learn how to recognize a manipulative person and what to do if you see it in your interactions with other people.
- 1 What Is Manipulation?
- 2 How Common Is Manipulation?
- 3 What is the Definition of Manipulative Behavior?
- 4 Why Manipulators Act the Way They Do
- 5 What to Look for When You’re Dealing with an Emotional Manipulator
- 5.1 1. They erode your confidence in your ability to comprehend reality.
- 5.2 2. Their behaviors do not correspond to what they say.
- 5.3 3. They are adept at inflicting guilt on others.
- 5.4 4. They assert that they are in the position of the victim.
- 5.5 5. They come on too strong and too soon.
- 5.6 6. They are a dark pit of feeling for you.
- 5.7 7. They enthusiastically agree to help—and may even volunteer—before acting as if they are a martyr.
- 5.8 8. They are constantly one step ahead of you.
- 5.9 9. They are well aware of all your buttons and are not afraid to press them.
- 6 MANIPULATION AND MENTAL HEALTH
What Is Manipulation?
Before we can recognize a manipulative person, we have to understand what manipulation is first.
Manipulation may take various shapes and forms. In situations when people are unable to communicate or request what they want or need clarification, they may resort to this destructive emotional tactic is to maintain control over a person or situation.
A manipulative person may seem to be kind and loving making it hard to recognize them. Yet, they may also be demanding or even emotionally abusive. These people aren’t interested in your life, but they may seem as if they are to acquire what they want from you.
The facts may seem to be warped on many occasions, and tales may shift to create confusion. Regardless of the kind of manipulator, some certain characteristics and trends should be observed and noted while studying personal interactions in general.
How Common Is Manipulation?
Everybody, to some extent, is a manipulative person. It’s not necessarily a terrible thing, despite the connotation that encourages you to assume it’s used to unfairly influence people’s decisions.
To have your desires satisfied, you must manipulate (influence) a person or circumstance, unless there is something you want that suddenly appears out of nowhere and miraculously appears in your living room.
Because we are all social creatures and human beings, the majority of individuals engage in some kind of manipulation. Occasionally, individuals are too self-conscious to ask for things openly, so they will ask in a circumstantial manner, which would be deemed “manipulative” in most circumstances.
Manipulation is something that happens daily in the corporate world. Some individuals will go to any extent to get the knowledge that they should not have. Maintain a neutral attitude with others by keeping your personal affairs in order, carrying out your tasks, refraining from gossiping, and maintaining a neutral manner with others.
What is the Definition of Manipulative Behavior?
Gaslighting is a deception technique that leads a person to doubt their reality. An example of this would be a manipulator lying, denying what they’ve said, distorting facts, and using a person’s own words against him or her. Over time, this may lead to feelings of confusion and doubt, which can lead to a person questioning their own decisions and experiences.
They make use of passive-aggressive phrases or behaviors, which may result in emotions of anguish when your actions do not match their words.
When your partner acts in a way that suggests they are dissatisfied or disappointed without expressing it openly, this is an example of passive-aggressive conduct.
3. Criticizing or passing judgment
A manipulator may make hurtful and detrimental remarks regarding your look, personality, insecurities, circumstances, and other aspects of their lives, among other things. These power-grab techniques assist someone in gaining authority so they can make others feel inadequate and inferior to them.
Blaming others is a method of avoiding taking responsibility for one’s own words and deeds. A manipulator may transfer blame to you to divert attention away from themselves. This might result in emotions of guilt and a misguided sense of obligation.
Why Manipulators Act the Way They Do
Even when it does enormous damage, not all manipulation is done with malice aforethought. Some of the most prevalent reasons why individuals manipulate others are as follows:
Poor communication skills.
The use of direct communication may be unsettling for some individuals. Those who grew up in homes where deceptive communication was the norm may have had similar experiences.
A desire to avoid connection.
Some individuals regard others as though they are only a means to a goal, and they manipulate them to exert control over them. This may be a sign of a personality condition, such as narcissistic personality disorder, in certain cases.
People may manipulate others out of a sense of dread, particularly fear of being abandoned. This is a common occurrence after breakups or arguments in relationships.
Manipulation sometimes comes into play to avoid taking responsibility. While some individuals avoid taking responsibility as a means of controlling or abusing another person, others do it because they are afraid of unfair judgment, have poor self-esteem, or find it difficult to acknowledge their inadequacies.
Some sorts of manipulation are natural, and in some cases, may even be advantageous. When it comes to professional advancement, most individuals learn that it is important to be polite and cheery when interacting with coworkers.
“Many manipulative persons didn’t learn excellent communication skills, which is a common occurrence. Or, much worse, they were punished by a powerful individual for expressing their needs or desires.
As a consequence, the initial ways of connection are overridden and replaced with techniques that are oriented toward any feeling of guilt or responsibility. This is effectively accomplished in two basic ways: via indirect communication and by refusing to accept responsibility for one’s conduct.
What to Look for When You’re Dealing with an Emotional Manipulator
1. They erode your confidence in your ability to comprehend reality.
Emotional manipulators are very adept liars, as shown by their extensive experience. They assert that an occurrence did not occur when it happened, and they assert that they did or said something when they did not do or say anything.
The problem is that they’re so brilliant at it that you begin to doubt your sanity as a result. Insisting that whatever caused the issue was a fabrication of your mind is an incredibly effective strategy for getting yourself out of trouble in most situations.
2. Their behaviors do not correspond to what they say.
These emotional manipulators say one thing but do another. They claim they want to help, yet they treat your demands as if they are absurd.
They tell you how fortunate they are to know you, then dump you. You may also question your sanity. They make you doubt reality and shape it to their liking.
3. They are adept at inflicting guilt on others.
Emotional manipulators know how to use your guilt. If you bring up an issue that bothers you, they make you feel awful for bringing it up.
If you don’t, they make you feel awful for keeping it hidden and stewing over it. Any issues you and your spouse experience are attributable to your actions and emotions while dealing with emotional manipulators.
4. They assert that they are in the position of the victim.
When it comes to emotional manipulators, there is never any blame on their shoulders. Someone else is to blame for everything, no of what they do or do not do. Someone else forced them to do it, and in most cases, that someone else is you.
If you get angry, it is your responsibility for having excessive expectations; if they become enraged, it is your fault for causing them to become unhappy. A manipulative person fails to recognize his/her fault thereby finding it hard to take full responsibility for their actions.
5. They come on too strong and too soon.
Emotional manipulators seem to skip phases in relationships, personal or professional. They reveal too much, too soon, and expect you to do the same. They are deceit, despite their vulnerability and tenderness. The farce is meant to make you feel not just sorry for them, but also responsible for their feelings.
6. They are a dark pit of feeling for you.
No matter the feelings emotional manipulators are experiencing, they are masters at pulling in everyone around them into those emotions as well. If they’re in a foul mood, everyone in their immediate vicinity is aware of it.
And it doesn’t stop there. They are so good that not only is everyone aware of their mood, but they are also conscious of their mood. People have a propensity to believe that they are responsible for the manipulator’s emotions and that they have to correct them as a result.
7. They enthusiastically agree to help—and may even volunteer—before acting as if they are a martyr.
Sighs, grunts, and hints that whatever they committed to do is a tremendous burden quickly replace early enthusiasm to provide a hand. They will turn on you if you throw a light on their hesitancy, telling you that they want to assist you and that your concerns have no grounds.
What is the end goal? To make you feel guilty, indebted, and maybe even insane.
8. They are constantly one step ahead of you.
Emotional manipulators have it far worse than the rest of us, no matter what our issues are. When they remind you that their issues are more severe than yours, they damage your concerns’ credibility. What is the message? There is no reason to be upset, so keep quiet.
A manipulative person is quick to recognize your vulnerabilities and use that information against you. If you’re self-conscious about your weight, they make disparaging remarks about what you eat or how your clothes fit; if you’re nervous about a presentation, they stress out how frightening and judgmental the audience is.
Their understanding of your emotions is out of this world, yet they use it to manipulate you rather than to help you feel better about yourself.
MANIPULATION AND MENTAL HEALTH
Manipulation is something that most people do on occasion. A long-term pattern of manipulation may indicate a mental health issue.
Manipulation is common in personality disorders like BPD and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People with BPD often manipulate others to meet emotional needs or get approval.
The individual with BPD may feel uneasy or abandoned. Because many BPD sufferers have seen or experienced abuse, manipulation may have developed as a way to satisfy demands indirectly.
People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) might be manipulative for several reasons. NPD sufferers may manipulate their partners to “keep” them in the relationship. Narcissistic manipulation includes shaming, accusing, and playing the “victim.”