5 proven signs that show you are the side chick
I can’t think of a worse position than loving someone who is already in a relationship. It’s a breeding ground for low self-esteem, depression and anger. But there are always signs that show that you are the side chick.
Yes, you are angry, but you have to realise that it’s a pretty common scenario to come across, but it’s still not one that is easy to deal with.
In the simplest terms, it’s a type of deception. You’re in a relationship with someone you care about, and someone else has their attention.
So if you’ve ever had your gut tell you that something wasn’t quite right in your relationship, trust it! Some things don’t add up, and these signs can help you figure out if your suspicions are correct. Check out the signs below:
- 1 5 signs you are the side chick
- 2 How to tell him you are done with being his side chick
- 3 What are the implications of remaining his side chick?
- 4 Take away
5 signs you are the side chick
They’re Always ‘busy.’
It’s okay to be busy from time to time, but there should be more quality time than quantity time when it comes to an established relationship. If your partner is constantly cancelling plans or coming up with reasons not to hang out as much as they used to, they may be spending their time elsewhere.
You’re Not A Priority.
There are always signs that show you are the side chick. The guy will always make you feel like you are the second-best. He’ll never be available to you, and he’ll never treat you like his number one. His priority is his main relationship, not being with you.
Your Relationship Is A Secret.
A real side chick knows that she can’t be seen in public with her lover because he’s already in a committed relationship. When he does spend time with her, it’s on the down-low and kept a secret.
He Never Introduces You To Anyone Important.
If your man doesn’t introduce you to family, friends or co-workers, he sees you as temporary and isn’t interested in having a serious relationship with you. If he wanted something long term with you, he would have introduced you to people who matter to him.
How to tell him you are done with being his side chick
Now you have confirmed the signs that you are his side chick, how do you stop being one.
1. Start by letting him know you want to speak with him and that this is not a call you should take lightly.
2. With no emotion, let him know that you are the other woman. You are his side chick and the mistress. This may or may not come as a surprise to him, but he needs to hear it from you so that he knows where he stands.
3. Let him know that living in the shadows of his relationship is not what you signed up for, and you need more. Be clear and firm about what you want out of the relationship, and if he wants to be with you more openly, he needs to leave his current relationship and make you his main priority.
4. Make sure that he knows your worth as a woman and understand that if he can’t give you what you want, then there is nothing left for the two of you to talk about and no reason why you should even bother continuing with this type of relationship.
What are the implications of remaining his side chick?
You will never be enough.
You will always feel the pain of being his side chick because you can’t accept you are not good enough to be his only woman. That feeling will hurt you and break your heart every.single.day.
He is giving you what he wants.
He’s giving you exactly what he wants: time with someone, but not a commitment to anyone. He likes that you’re in his life, but he doesn’t need to make any sacrifices for it. He’ll tell you things like, “this is just how I am” or “I’m not ready for a relationship.”
He is taking advantage of you.
You may think that since he’s not committing to you, it’s okay that he’s seeing other women simultaneously as seeing you. However, it’s still a problem because he knows he has an advantage over you: he knows that you want him to commit, and he’s using it to get away with whatever he wants and still have you on his arm.
No one will ever respect you.
If you’re the side chick, you’re essentially the mistress. You’re getting the scraps of a man’s time and attention but nothing more. The guy is committed to another woman and loves her enough to stay with her, yet he’s willing to go behind her back and play house with you. It’s a dishonest way to live your life and isn’t worthy of anyone’s respect.
Some women think they’re okay with being his second choice, but the truth is it will never last. It’s not forever. He may say, “I love you”, but she has him locked down without trying. She is the one he goes back to after every fight or argument with you, and she has everything he wants in a woman.
You have so much value and worth that you should never settle for less than the best. As a lady, you deserve to be loved, cherished and respected. You deserve a man who sees your worth, beauty and value. A man who will put you first and treat you like his queen