Is it really my fault? 8 ways to know if you’re the toxic one in a relationship
It is a lot easier to shift the blame and point fingers. However, wouldn’t you like to know if you’re the toxic one in a relationship or not?
Nobody is flawless, and the same is true of relationships. Because your relationship is healthy doesn’t mean it is without its flaws.
Flaws are natural, but toxicity isn’t.
Though flaws can motivate you to mature and improve, however, toxicity can deplete you psychologically and that is a sign of unhealthy relationship.
Am I Toxic? How to know if you’re the toxic one?
1. You have a fondness for manipulating things.
Deception is concealing things from the one you claim to love.
If you engage in this behavior, you are deceiving him/her and at that moment you should know you’re the toxic person in a relationship.
In the end, it will only degrade your companion’s admiration and affection for you.
When you believe your companion, there is no reason for you to constantly check their messages or login onto their laptop.
Anyone who consistently violates their partner’s personal space is causing great damage to their relationship.
If there is a good cause for the spying, the relationship is definitely not one you should be in.
However if your companion has shown you no cause to question them, that should make you know you’re the toxic one in the relationship.
3. You are a bit too dominant.
We all want to always have our ways with things, but relationships are always about flexibility.
You push your partner around, control things, and employ different sorts of personal manipulation to get your way.
You can be harsh and impolite to the point of shocking others. In addition, you may pretend to be angry and use crying to persuade people to do what you wish.
If you do any of this you are harming your relationship and you need to stop.
When you’re in a relationship, you should pay attention to your companion because you love them and want them to live their lives as much as you are living yours.
4. You’re constantly promising to break up.
Occasionally, people do this just to know that they are still valued.
Some do this to regain their self-esteem.
All these are personal purposes, and if your companion truly loves you, it’s cruel, and you must quit.
You don’t want your partner feeling threatened by you.
5. You don’t respect their private boundaries.
Expecting them to recognize your mood swings, wishes, and passions without you needing to say anything, but you don’t recognize theirs.
You just presume she/he doesn’t have any needs, wishes, or passions, and that his/her whole time is dedicated to knowing about you.
Furthermore, you expect him/her to appreciate your boundaries enough to let you do whatever you want, but you don’t reciprocate the same!
You desire to know every aspect and will be provoked if he desires to do anything that does not include you.
6. You are never accountable.
Once you abandon all obligations only to criticize others, you are toxic.
Stop playing the victim card because you’re not deceiving anyone and you’re simply harming your relationship.
7. You’re usually the one who does the majority of the talking.
Listening to your companion’s views and feelings about everything is a skill that all must develop.
Allow your loved ones to express themselves by offering ideas. In addition, pay attention to them and let them know you appreciate their thoughts.
This will boost their esteem and reassure them that you are somebody they can communicate with about everything & anything.
8. Regular Withdrawal
While everyone requires time to chill off from time to time, giving your partner the cold shoulder is not always the method to have that space.
Utilizing cold shoulder can be harmful to both your relationship and your companion’s sense of importance.
This approach also referred to as disengagement, is meant to move the control balance in favor of the dominating partner by driving the receiver, anxious for a reunion, to plead for pardon.
When you continue to block your companion, you establish an unbalanced power dynamic that is difficult to correct.
How to improve yourself as the toxic one in the Relationship
What is important is that you recognize when it is you who is causing trouble and maybe the cause of a future breakup of the relationship.
– The first step is to acknowledge this fact.
– Second step is to take a seat with your companion and have an open and truthful dialogue with him/her, no matter how difficult that may be.
– Begin putting in the effort. Arrange a dinner date, get a special present, or simply kiss your lover with no explanation.
– Efforts alone are insufficient. You must psychologically accept that call to restore the relationship and form a relationship afresh.
In most relationships, people are more focused on finding flaws in their partners that they ignore their flaws.
Now is the moment to reflect on your behavior and ponder “what if you’re the toxic one in the relationship”. You never know, acknowledging your toxic characteristics could rescue your relationship.
There is no guilt in recognizing it/them because becoming informed is the first step toward improvement.