How to get unsupportive parents to support you
Are you going through a hard time trying to bring your parents to understand the reason why you a presently making so many decisions in your life? Does it seem like they will never understand? Is there any action to take to bring them on board? Yes! In this article, I will tell you how to make your unsupportive parents support you.
Our parents may seem very unsupportive of our decisions at times. This however doesn’t mean they don’t love us or care for what we are doing. It is merely a fact of not understanding each other point of view. You can see how to strengthen your relationship with your parent in this article.
The good news though is, there are simple and effective steps to take to get unsupportive parents to support us.
- 1 Why do our parents not support some of our decisions?
- 2 How to persuade your unsupportive parents to back you up
Why do our parents not support some of our decisions?
Usually, the reasons why our parents do not support our decisions are:
- That they are concerned about your financial stability and they do not want you to suffer in life.
- And also you will change if you decide to pursue your dreams and forge a new path for yourself. People are disturbed by this. Keep in mind that your loved ones are accustomed to you being a certain way.
If you suddenly start acting differently than what they are accustomed to, they may act out of fear of losing the “old you” they know and love. They may be concerned that as you grow and evolve, you will abandon them and forget about them.
How to persuade your unsupportive parents to back you up
Perhaps you have tried to get unsupportive parents to support you but it was unsuccessful. Let’s give it another shot but make sure to follow my advice this time:
Step 1: Speak with them.
Recognize, don’t accuse. Do not begin with an accusation, but rather with an attempt to comprehend. Ask open-ended questions about why they disagree with your decision and listen without bias. Ask questions and listen to their side of the story to learn as much as you can.
Step 2: Quench their fears.
To get them on board, show them what you’re learning/doing. If you want to run a business, keep them up to date on your latest projects, next steps, and upcoming milestones. If you want to be a travel writer, show them your travels, assignments, photos, and so on.
We tend to resist what we don’t understand, and as we learn more about something, we begin to see that it isn’t so frightening. When your parents gain a better understanding of your path through your actions, they will become less judgmental and negative, and more understanding and supportive.
Inform them that you are not acting on a whim, but that you have a plan in place. (In the case you don’t, you should make one!) If they object to your new diet because they believe it is flawed, explain why this is not the case. If your parents are closed-minded, this will most likely not be resolved in a single conversation, but you can start the conversation.
Step 3: Educate your parents.
We were born in a different era than our parents. My parents grew up in a time before computers and the internet, and can barely read or write in English. On the other hand, the internet is an inseparable part of my life. My entire business is built on the internet.
My daily communication is conducted in English 90 per cent of the time. Because the world has changed so drastically, different behaviours and mindsets have emerged in just one generation. That’s fine because the point is to inform your parents about the changes. Even if our parents’ ideas are out of date, it is important to keep them up to date on current events.
The more you do this, the more they will realize that there is a whole other world out there for them to discover.
Step 4: Invite a third party to come in.
When it’s just you and them, your parents might not take what you say seriously. Some parents believe that children know nothing and that wisdom develops with age. Talk to your friends if they’ve met your parents before, and/or if you’re on good terms with your parents’ confidants (like your aunt, uncle, or grandparents). Explain your objective and why it is important. Allow them to speak up about it to your parents, as well as the benefits of doing so, so they can get a second thought. When a different person is speaking, your parents may be more willing to listen.
Step 5: Make your case.
If your parents continue to object, draw a line and take a stand. To begin with, your goal’s success is not dependent on your parents’ approval. Unless your parents are cutting you off, such as throwing you out of the house or taking away your allowance (if you are still financially dependent), you can pursue your dreams without their permission. If they are constantly discouraging you, stand up for yourself. If they strongly object you should consider moving out to give yourself some breathing room until your plans take off (if you stay with them)
Step 6: Remember that your parents love you.
How to get unsupportive parents to support you isn’t so easy and as much as we went it to and might not happen as fast as we want it to. However, remember that your parents adore you at the end of the day. If they don’t care about you, they won’t bother objecting to your actions even if it means jeopardizing your relationship with them. So don’t despise them. Don’t belittle them.
Step 7: Take Care of Yourself
Starting with yourself may be one of the best ways to find the help you require. Be your own biggest cheerleader. Be gentle and kind to yourself, and keep your self-talk positive. In other words, listen to your inner voice and what it has to say about you. This is just how to get unsupportive parents to support you.