5 things to do when someone close betrays you
We’ve all been betrayed. Whether it was a friend we thought we could trust or a lover with who we had invested time and energy. Betrayal is hard to get over. The sting of being lied to and deceived by someone we trust can make us feel like our world has been taken from us. But how do we do when betrayal happens? What can be done when someone close betrays you?
Trying to get over it can be an uphill battle, but after years of counselling people who have been through cheating or betrayal have learned, there are steps you can take to help heal the pain of when someone close betrays you.
- 1 Five things you can do when someone close betrays you
Five things you can do when someone close betrays you
Accept that the person betrayed you
The first step to dealing with betrayal is understanding that the person actually did betray you; don’t pretend they didn’t or try to rationalize their behaviour away. You must accept this fact and not feel any guilt for feeling betrayed.
Don’t try to look for a sense in things that have no sense and don’t try to justify your friend’s behaviour just because you love him/her; it is not good for your mental health. Do not think about “why this happened to me?” or “What did I do wrong?” These questions can make you feel angry, depressed and isolated.
Understand that everyone betrays someone
Betrayal is a natural part of being human; it happens all the time whether we realize it or not, and there’s nothing wrong with it. We all betray someone at one point or another, even if we don’t want to admit it.
The fact that everyone betrays each other doesn’t mean that all betrayals are justified; in fact, many betrayals are not only unjustified but also hurtful and destructive. Every case of betrayal must be judged on its own merits and you should only feel betrayed if the accusation is justified and if your trust has been violated.
Understand that even though it hurts, it’s not about you
Betrayal is never about you. It’s about the betrayer and their issues. A person who has betrayed you probably hasn’t figured out how to love themselves and is acting out in an unhealthy way. They may also have issues with self-esteem, abandonment, trust and control. None of these problems has anything to do with you so don’t take it personally.
Take a Break from Communication
It’s important to clear your mind and remove yourself from any further hurt from the situation. Don’t be afraid of losing contact with a person. Most importantly, don’t speak badly about them to others. This can make you appear bitter, which only hurts you in the long run, especially if your relationship is meant to last into the future.
Taking time for yourself is a very important part of healing when someone has betrayed you. It allows you time to reflect on the situation and allows your mind to wander into different possibilities of what may have happened without making assumptions or coming up with conclusions that are not completely accurate.
Don’t Make Any Life-Altering Decisions
Don’t make any major life-altering decisions during this time period before your mind has had enough time to heal itself from the betrayal that has occurred in your life. This includes ending friendships or even starting new relationships with those who have become available in your life.
However, after having time to settle down you can try changing your behaviour based on what you have learned. This can be difficult, but it is necessary if you want to prevent similar incidents in the future. If you do not learn from the past, then it will just repeat itself over and over again.
Take advantage of your new freedom
The most common reaction when someone betrays us is that we feel trapped and imprisoned by our relationship with this person. When we no longer have this relationship, we can finally do what we have always wanted, but never had time or permission to do it.